Should I stay or should I go?

Next year is the opportunity for me to possibly spend 2nd semester in Oslo, Norway – and I have no idea if I should put my name down for the exchange.

Pros – once in a life time experience / travel / culture / cv / personal growth / professional growth / new friends / instragrams!

Cons – leaving a newly built comfort zone / leaving recently formed friendships/relationships / missing out of the opportunities at Lincoln / leaving The Lincoln Dance Collective / distance from friends and family / am I good enough?

I had some major separation issues throughout this first year of uni, am not even confidant it’ll be alright going back to Lincoln next year, let alone going to a different country.

I think it will be something I’d regret not pursuing, but what if i’d be better of staying here?

Reminiscing

I’m having one of those moments where I reflect on the past few years and take stock of everything that I’ve achieved and without sounding like a dick, there’s a lot to take in. The last time I wrote on this blog I’d just found out my results and had my Uni place confirmed. Now, I’m in the middle of my summer, first year under my belt and eagerly awaiting second; how time flies.

Uni has been such an eye opener – I’ve discovered so many sides to myself that I didn’t know I had and gained so much life experience in such a short space of time. It’s literally cray! I feel very blessed and fortunate for the opportunities that I’ve had and for the decisions I’ve been able to make, so much so that it’s almost overwhelming if I think about it for too long.

I’m not sure what is possessing me to write this all down this evening, maybe I’ve been watching too much Nashville and feel inspired to put pen to paper? All I know is that I’m excited to see what I have to say this time next year 😉

Post results

So I got in!! Checked UCAS at 8:02 and spend 5minutes trying to decode the terminology on the website; but eventually realised that I’d done it, I’m going to Lincoln.
Some slight nerves on the way to school to actually get my a level results but ultimately I was just feeling so relived that I got what I wanted. My results are B B C, which is what I was expecting and what I needed, some part of me was hoping for As in welsh and Re but realistically I didn’t do well enough in the exams to get A overall. My only slight disappointment was that the C grade was for my Welsh Alevel, as I was really hoping to do well in welsh as I’m passionate about the language but if I had to get a C in anything, I’m glad it wasn’t in drama because I put in so much effort this year!
I think it’s good to be honest with yourself if you feel disappointed with your results because if you pretend that you’re happy then you’ll never push yourself to work harder and achieve higher.
There was some slight drama with other peoples results and uni places; as to be expected on such a heightened day of emotions, but I think it’s all been solved now.
So, onwards and upwards 💃💃

12 days

I have 12 days until results day!! It’s come around so fast, seriously feels like yesterday that I finished my anthology exam and was released from the clutches of A levels.
I’m quietly confident that I’ve made my uni offer, they’re not asking for super high grades so at least I’ve not got that pressure; but I’m definitely aware that I could have shitty results and not get into my uni of choice, or any uni at all.
I’ve been trying to push all the doubt and anxiety away, and focus on all the fun stuff I will hopefully get to do. I’m a big fan of home shopping, so the prospect of going around john lewis, TKMaxx and bhs looking for plates, sheets, cutlery, utensils etc is really appealing to me. I guess that’s partly where my anxiety of results day comes from; I know that I love to shop for home things and the idea that I might not get to do that because I won’t be going to uni is really crap.
Well, I always tell my friends not to stress about their results, because they’ve had these results since they finished each exam. The piece of paper they’re about to get has been typed and ready for about a month, today is just the day that you can read it. Maybe it’s time to start taking my own advice. 😁😁

Traveling

Currently in the car, hating it. I’m not sure why but recently I’ve become very anxious and on edge while on the motorway. Dual carriage ways I’m good with, but as both passenger or driver, I seriously hate the motorway!
I’m constantly waiting for us to hit someone or for another car to just ram into us. I don’t know if I don’t trust my mums driving or if I don’t trust all the other drivers. I doubt I’d feel much safer with my dad’s driving as I don’t think her ever does under the speed limit.
Hopefully we’ll be there soon 🙏

Busy

Today starts the 1st of 5 trips away for me this summer. Myself, mum and dad are going up to Lincoln for the Uni’s open day tomorrow; which I’m very excited for. I think at this stage the only people there tomorrow will be students who have put Lincoln as their first choice, and therefore people who I might end up studying/living with. Better make sure I have my friendly hat on 😉

Moving on

My dance company had a meeting today where we chose the short list of choreographers that they will audition in September, to eventually work with 2 of them for this years ignite project.
This was the 3rd time that I have been at the short listing meeting but this year I won’t actually be a part of the project because I will (hopefully) be at Uni.
Choosing the choreographers is such an exciting time because you get to see so many different approaches to contemporary dance and get to read about all the proposed pieces, which vary from dream concepts to hoffesh inspired movement.
I’m excited for the company, some of the choreographers that they’ve short listed have amazing CVs and I think that they’re going to improve so much in their technique. It’s just only hit me now that I’m leaving, and that things are changing.

Time holds all the answers

It has been 1 year, 2 months and 27 days since I wrote a blog post. 

I started writing this blog as a way to help identify a career path for myself, as it was that time at school where every teacher reminds you that you need to start choosing your future, today. I think the reason I didn’t pursue this blog is because I found my career path; it had been staring me in the face for a good few years now.

If my Alevel exams went well, then in September I should be going to University to study Dance, which is a future I am more than happy to venture into.

I chose a uni over a dance school purely based on insecurities. I have no confidence that I am in any way good enough to even audition for a dance school. I don’t believe I have adequate technique or cardio capabilities, and I, in no way, have the body shape/weight to feel comfortable even auditioning for such highly recommended dance schools like ‘the place’. I’m okay with this though; I can develop my technique and work on my fitness while at uni, and after I graduate, I can do a year of training in a dance school; sorted! 

I often fantasize about my career in dance; I think it’s quite an unrealistic dream, but you need to dream big to achieve big things right. I want to work with the amazing choreographers on America’s ‘So You Thing You Can Dance’, specifically Travis Wall, as he is fantastic! So maybe summer out in America, interning with Travis, then even choreograph my own pieces to be performed by the SYTYCD contestants. After Graduating I want to move to Cardiff bay, working as a company member for National Dance Company Wales; I absolutely love the work that they do, and as a company I think they’re all so talented. Then, my personal life will require me to, after 3/4 years, settle into family life, so the performing side of my career will have to take a back seat. I want to open my own company, probably starting at the adult level then once that can stand on it’s own feet, open the company up to youth dance. This would as professional a company as I can make it; I was fortunate enough to have some amazing opportunities to work with professional, successful choreographers, and participate in some high level performances during my youth dance career, and those experiences are something I want to provide for a whole new generation of young dancers.

I’m aware that this ‘ideal life’ is very out of reach right now, but I know in my gut that those are my life ambitions, and even if I don’t achieve them, I’m more than happy to try.

 

 

Back to school

So I went back to school this week 😦 I’ve been up till 12 every night finishing work that I refused to do over Easter #yolo
Schools not that bad, I never realised how much I enjoy spending time with my friends, especially since we have free periods in 6thform!
Married with going back to school, is going back to dance oh my gawwwd First sesh’ was today, then a more intense one this Saturday, the joy!
No, to be fair I love dance, and it was really nice to see everyone again and get back into it.
Exams next week, whoop

Hairspray

I LOVE HAIRSPRAY I’ve never seen the stage musical (unless on YouTube counts) but I loooove the film!!
The songs are amazing and meaningful, and the story itself is great, which I can appreciate more after learning about black civil rights in school. plus the cast is amaaaaze’